On the basis of 45 expert opinions of custody cases involving 89 children dating from 1996-1999 and of 62 questionnaires answered by the parents it was examined, how the parents told their children about the impending separation. We were interested if the way the parents told their children and the contents of the communication had an impact on coping with the separation. We found that only 48.9% of the families talked about the separation. 35.5% of the children were not informed, 12.4% of the children were not told the truth by their parents. There was no clear connection between the way the children were informed and their coping behaviour. Yet it could be shown that talking to the children had a positive effect on the relationship between the father and the child. The discussion of the results will point out the complexity and importance of this topic which has not been sufficiently considered in the literature and by parents planning a divorce. Yet looking at the rising divorce rate one can see how highly topical it is and will remain in the future.