The analysis of cargo proteins in exosome subpopulations has considerable value in diagnostics but a translatable impact has been limited by lengthy or complex exosome extraction protocols. We describe herein a scalable, fast, and low-cost exosome extraction using an alternating (AC) magnetic field to support the dynamic mixing of antibody-coated magnetic beads (MBs) with serum samples within 3D-printed microfluidic chips. Zwitterionic polymer-coated MBs are, specifically, magnetically agitated and support ultraclean exosome capture efficiencies >70% from <50 μL of neat serum in 30 min. Applied herein to the immunocapture of neuronal exosomes using anti-L1CAM antibodies, prior to the array-based assaying of α-synuclein (α-syn) content by a standard duplex electrochemical sandwich ELISA, sub pg/mL detection was possible with an excellent coefficient of variation and a sample-to-answer time of ∼75 min. The high performance and semiautomation of this approach hold promise in underpinning low-cost Parkinson's disease diagnostics and is of value in exosomal biomarker analyses more generally.